You Got Married Recently To

I Think It's Important To Be Authentic To Who You Are, And If You're Inauthentic At All, People Smell That From A Mile Away.

Then They Have The Audacity To Go Shopping And Pick Out Their Own Gifts. I Want To Know Who The First Person Was Who Said This Was Okay. After Spending All That Money On A Bachelorette Weekend, A Shower, And Often A Flight Across The Country, They Expect You To Go To Williams Sonoma Or Pottery Barn And Do Research? Then They Send You A Thank-you Note Applauding You For Such A Thoughtful Gift. They're The One Who Picked It Out!

You Get Photographed Together When There's 25 People With You And People Assume That You're Having Sex, Which Is Definitely Not The Case.

That's Al Qaeda's New Plan: To Destroy America One Period At A Time.

I Don't Think The Problem Is Telling People You're On A Diet. The Problem Is Eating Ice Cream For Breakfast.