You Can't Drown Yourself In

My Wife Is The Kind Of Girl Who Will Not Go Anywhere Without Her Mother, And Her Mother Will Go Anywhere.

The Good Die Young, Because They See It's No Use Living If You Have Got To Be Good.

You Can't Drown Yourself In Drink. I've Tried; You Float.

America Is The Country Where You Can Buy A Lifetime Supply Of Aspirin For One Dollar And Use It Up In Two Weeks.

I Would Like To Find A Stew That Will Give Me Heartburn Immediately, Instead Of At Three O Clock In The Morning.