You Can't Be Bad Ass

That's One Thing About My Shows. I Tell People, I'm Not A Comedian, I'm Just A Really Funny Reporter. I Put My Life Out There And Make It Entertaining. By Putting It Out There, It Helps Me To Deal With It, You Know, So I Don't Snap And So I Don't Go Off The Handle When I Get Home.

Drama Is Not My Passion. If I Do It, It's For A Check. It's Not What I Want To Do. Comedy's My Thing. Stand Up's My Thing. Everything That Comes From That Is Frosting On The Cake.

I Go On The Road All The Time, But I'm Only Performing For Two Hours A Night, And Then I'll Do A Meet-and-greet, And Then I'll Get A Bite To Eat, Get Drunk, Pass Out, Wake Up The Next Day, Sleeping The Next Day, Sleeping Off The Hangover, And Then I'm In The Next City.

I Almost Bought A Delorean The Other Day Just Because. If I See Something That I Think Is Cool And I Like It, I'll Go For It.

As A Comedian, Especially One That Works As Much As I Do, There Is A Lot Of Sacrifice. People Don't See That I'm Away From My Family 46 Weeks Out Of The Year. I Miss All The Birthdays And Anniversaries And Holidays.