Favorites Quote's
Author
Topic's
Blog
You Cannot Paint The Exterior Of Your House. You Have To Take The Paint Chip Down To Show The Paint-chip Nazis.
-Dave Barry
Please Wait....
Translating....
Select Image
Download as Image
English
Spanish
French
German
Hindi
Chinese
You Cannot Paint The Exterior
Dave Barry
You Cannot Paint The Exterior Of Your House. You Have To Take The Paint Chip Down To Show The Paint-chip Nazis.
Views: 79374
Topic
House
Nazi
Paint
More From Dave Barry
You Can, Legally, Possibly Hit And Kill A Fellow Golfer With A Ball, And There Will Not Be A Lot Of Trouble Because The Other Golfers Will Refuse To Stop And Be Witnesses Because They Will Want To Keep Playing.
Golf
Balls
Want
If God Had Wanted Us To Spend All Our Time Fretting About The Problems Of Home Ownership, He Would Never Have Created Beer. This Is Not To Say That I Am Recommending That You Totally Ignore Your Responsibilities As A Homeowner And Just Sit Around All Day With A Can Of Beer In Your Hand. No Indeed, I Have Long Been A Believer In Purchasing Bottled Beer, And Pouring It Into A Chilled Glass.
Responsibility
Home
Beer
I Wrote About Why I Didn't Think Libertarians Are Really Doing This Kind Of Thing So That They Can Have Sex With Dogs. I Discussed Some Of The Reasons That A Person Might Want To Live Out Of The Control Of Our Federal, State, Local, And Every Other Form Of Government. Actually, I Don't Think I Even Called Myself A Libertarian. I Think Tom Shroder Identified Me As One.
Dog
Sex
Thinking
My Current Computer, In Addition To 'dos,' Has 'windows,' Which Is Another Invention Of Bill Gates, Designed As A Security Measure To Thwart Those Users Who Are Somehow Able To Get Past Dos.
Past
Bills
Able
I Had Arrived At The Airport One Hour Early So That, In Accordance With Airline Procedures, I Could Stand Around.
Funny
Humorous
Food
Trending Author
Walter Chrysler
Laurell K. Hamilton
Howard Dietz
Rafael Correa
Ryan Cabrera
Stewart Alsop
Category
Information