You Can't Just Run Out

Guys Are Like Dogs. They Keep Comin' Back. Ladies Are Like Cats. Yell At A Cat One Time, They're Gone.

Children Ought To Watch Pornographic Movies: It's Healthier Than Learning About Sex From Hollywood.

Every Group, Every System Has A Set Of Values And Morals And When You Get Outside Those, Then The Alarms Ring. I Was Politically Incorrect To 95% Of The Country; Luckily My 5% Had The Bread To Come See Me.

You Got To Pay Your Dues To Get The Joke. Besides, Laughter Is Cheap And Very Portable. If There's A Pogrom, Or They're Blaming You For The Plague, Nothing Is Easier To Pack Than A Sense Of Humor.

My Only Challenge Was To Tell My Truth, Man... Figure Out What I Had To Say. These Days, It's Not Enough To Boost That Roomful Of Strangers. The Young Comic Spends All Their Time Trying To Sound Different From The Million Other Jokesters Grabbing For The Mic.