You Can't Call Yourself A

Oh, How I Regret Not Having Worn A Bikini For The Entire Year I Was Twenty-six. If Anyone Young Is Reading This, Go, Right This Minute, Put On A Bikini, And Don't Take It Off Until You're Thirty-four.

Women Are Being Considered As Candidates For Vice-president Of The United States Because It Is The Worst Job In America. It's Amazing That Men Will Take It. A Job With Real Power Is First Lady. I'd Be Willing To Run For That. As Far As The Men Who Are Running For President Are Concerned, They Aren't Even People I Would Date.

Working As A Journalist Is Exactly Like Being A Wallflower At An Orgy.

We All Look Good For Our Age. Except For Our Necks.

That's Another Thing About Being A Certain Age That I've Noticed: I Try As Much As Possible Not To Look In The Mirror.