You Are Not Going To

You Know The Only People Who Are Always Sure About The Proper Way To Raise Children? Those Who've Never Had Any.

There Is Hope For The Future Because God Has A Sense Of Humor And We Are Funny To God.

My Latest Blood Test Said My Cholesterol Was Very High And My Doctor Recommended Some Medicine For It. I Said "no" To His Recommendation And He Said "what Are You Going To Do?" I Said I Ate My Way Into This And I'm Going To Eat My Way Out Of It.

Take Your Bottom Lip And Pull It Over Your Head.

Why Do I Have To Feed The Kids? They Just Ate Twelve Hours Ago!