Write Your Goddamned Book Now.

Still Though, I Think If You're Not Self-obsessed, You're Probably Boring.

People Say I Talk Slowly. I Talk In A Way Sometimes Called Laconic. The Phone Rings, I Answer, And People Ask If They've Woken Me Up. I Lose My Way In The Middle Of Sentences, Leaving People Hanging For Minutes. I Have No Control Over It. I'll Be Talking, And Will Be Interested In What I'm Saying, But Then Someone-i'm Convinced This What Happens-someone-and I Wish I Knew Who, Because I Would Have Words For This Person-for A Short Time, Borrows My Head. Like A Battery Is Borrowed From A Calculator To Power A Remote Control, Someone, Always, Is Borrowing My Head.

I Worked At Magazines For Over 10 Years Before I Even Thought Of Writing A Book.

Recently, I've Discovered Radiohead And Find Them To Be Quite Good. So Clearly, I'm Some Kind Of Musical Retard. (jonathan Ames, Middle-american Gothic)

I Hung Up The Phone, Jubilant, And Threw Myself Into A Wall, Then Pretended To Be Getting Electrocuted. I Do This When I'm Very Happy.