Where There's A Will -

Whether You Understand They Evolved Over Billions Of Years Or Believe That A God Made Them All One Afternoon, Please Be Kind To Animals.

Just Because You're Offended, Doesn't Mean You're Right. Some People Are Offended By Mixed Marriage, Gay People, Atheism. So What? F*** 'em.

The Most Important Thing In Comedy - Apart From Empathy, Which I Think Is Important Even If Disguised - Is Surprise. I Like Surprising People With The Fact That Something's Even A Joke At All.

Americans Are Brought Up To Believe They Can Grow Up To Be The President Of The United States. Brits Are Told, It Won't Happen To You.

I Remember The First Check I Got For 'the Office,' And It Made Me Feel Sad. It Ruined It. ... Because There Was Sort Of A Nobility In Poverty.