Whenever I'm Stuck In Traffic,

Thank You... Fantasy Football Draft, For Letting Me Know That Even In My Fantasies, I Am Bad At Sports.

Joe Biden Will Speak To The Nation's Largest Gay Rights Group During A Human Rights Convention On Friday. Then On Saturday, He Is Scheduled To Speak To Them Again To Apologize For Whatever He Said In Friday's Speech.

A Miami Judge Issued Florida's First Gay Marriage License Yesterday, Which Makes It The 36th State To Legally Perform Gay Marriages. Of Course, Most Florida Residents Are Too Old To Understand What That Means. They'll Say, 'well, I Think All Marriages Should Be Gay, And Merry.'

Mary-kate And Ashley Olsen Attended A Fundraiser For Hillary Clinton In New York City This Week. Hillary Told Them, 'good Luck With The Reboot Of Your '90s Show.' And They Said, 'thanks. Good Luck With Yours.'

There Are Reports That Russia Is Actually Working With North Korea To Encourage “collaboration And Cooperation” Between The Two Countries. Yeah, They Believe That With Russia's Economic Power And North Korea's Technology, They Can Be A Real Threat To 1987.