When You Have Five Little

Bacon Bits Are Like The Fairy Dust Of The Food Community.

I Grew Up 45 Minutes Outside Of Chicago.

I Don't Want People To Think I Believe In God.

There's Something That's Really Fun About The Challenge Of Making The Mundane Funny, Too, I Think.

As A Dad, You Are The Vice President Of The Executive Branch Of Parenting. It Doesn't Matter What Your Personality Is Like, You Will Always Be Al Gore To Your Wife's Bill Clinton. She Feels The Pain And You Are The Annoying Nerd Telling Them To Turn Off The Lights.