When We Save The Rain

I Think We Need A 12-step Group For Non-stop Talkers. We're Going To Call It On And On Anon.

I'm Really More Prolific Than Most Stand-ups. My Act Changes. I Do Fold In New Experiences, New Observations, Whatever You Want To Call It.

I Happen To Be A Devout Atheist. I Don't Believe In God. I Still Go To Church -- I'm Not A Heathen. I Go To An Atheist Church. We Have Crippled Guys Who Stand Up And Testify That They Were Crippled, And They Still Are.

President Obama Could Keep A Big Map With Push Pins On It To Keep Track Of How Many Countries Hate Us, And When We Get Down To Only Half, Let's Have A Ball. I'll Blow Up The Balloons Myself.

I Was The Youngest In My Family. When The Other Kids Went To School, My Mother Would Make Them Breakfast And Then She Would Go Back To Bed For An Hour, So I Was Sort Of Babysat By Television.