When Mutti And Vati Came

Here Is My Recipe For A Mood Enhancer. Take A Friend, Preferably One With A Really Annoying Fringe And Outsize Pants, And When She Is Rambling On Swiftly, Push Her Into A Ditch And Run Away.

Love Is A Many Trousered Thing.

...then It Said On The News, "and Tonight The Prime Minister Has Just Got To Number Ten." I Looked Down At Jas And Said, "ooer." Meaning He'd Got To Number Ten On The Snogging Scale. And Then We Both Laughed Like Loons. Vati Just Looked At Us Like We Were Mad.

Jas, You Are Three Hundred Miles Away. You Would Have To Have Nunga-nungas The Size Of France For Jock To Be Able To Rest His Hand On Them.

The Fly In Her Argument Is That When She Says, 'they' Will Feel Like Lemons, We Don't Know Who 'they' Are. And 'they' Might Be Lemons.