When I Was A Kid,

A Dog Who Thinks He Is A Man's Best Friend Is A Dog Who Obviously Has Never Met A Tax Lawyer.

[on Not Reading Newspapers:] If Something Important Happens, Your Mother Calls You.

All The Time I'm Not Writing I Feel Like A Criminal. It's Horrible To Feel Felonious Every Second Of The Day. It's Much More Relaxing To Actually Write.

What's The Point Of Being Young If You're Not Going To Make New Things, I Wonder?

We Are All Born With A Rut Radar. Mine Is Finely Wired, A Little Oversensitive Maybe. Perhaps Just A Bit Hyperactive. Twenty Steady Boyfriends Before Turning 16, A New Best Friend 12 Times A Year, Switched College Majors Every Time I Met Someone Who Seemed Exactly Like The Sort Of Person I Really, Really Wanted To Be. I'm Not Fickle. I'm Just Never There Yet.