When I See Professional Clowns,

You're Sitting There, With Your Wife And Your Baby And Your Smiling Dog, And You're Watching Real Housewives Getting Into Fistfights On Tv. And You Go, 'how Great Is My Life? I'm So Happy Right Now.'

In A Recent Interview, Jeb Bush Revealed That His Brother George Gave Him The Nickname 'tortoise' Because He's Making Slow, Steady Progress. Though I Think The Bigger Story Here Is That Compared To George, Jeb Is The Slow One.

Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders Is Expected To Announce Tomorrow That He Is Running For President, Making Him Hillary Clinton's Only Democratic Challenger So Far. Or As Hillary Put It, 'oooo, Appetizers!'

Apparently, The Obamas Chose New York City Because They've Gotten So Used To People Trying To Break Into Their House.

I Like To See People Laugh Who Are Normally Serious.