When I Got Divorced, I

I Always Tell My Kids To Cut A Sandwich In Half Right When You Get It, And The First Thought You Should Have Is Somebody Else. You Only Ever Need Half A Burger.

If You Think Everything You've Done Is Great, You're Probably Dumb.

The Only Road To Doing Good Shows, Is Doing Bad Shows.

I Don't Think It Makes Any Sense To Try To Get Anyone To Not Talk.

I Found Out That I'm A Pretty Bad Father. I Make A Lot Of Mistakes And I Don't Know What I'm Doing. But My Kids Love Me. Go Figure.