When A Child Is Locked

No Self-respecting Mother Would Run Out Of Intimidations On The Eve Of A Major Holiday.

In The South Pacific, Because Of Their Size, Mosquitoes Are Required To File Flight Plans.

Babies On Television Never Spit Up On The Ultrasuede.

A Friend Doesn't Go On A Diet Because You Are Fat. A Friend Never Defends A Husband Who Gets His Wife An Electric Skillet For Her Birthday. A Friend Will Tell You She Saw Your Old Boyfriend -- And He's A Priest.

What Does It Profit A 78-year-old Woman To Sit Around The Pool In A Bikini If She Cannot Feed Herself?