What The Eye Does Not

Time Is But The Shadow Of The World Upon The Background Of Eternity.

I Saw A Great Newfoundland Dog The Other Day Sitting In Front Of A Mirror At The Entrance To A Shop In Regent's Circus, And Examining Himself With An Amount Of Smug Satisfaction That I Have Never Seen Equaled Elsewhere Outside A Vestry Meeting.

In The Future There Are Going To Be No Pretty Girls, For The Simple Reason There Will Be No Plain Girls Against Which To Contrast Them. Of Late I Have Done Some Systematic Reading Of Ladies Papers. The Plain Girl Submits To A Course Of "treatment." In Eighteen Months She Bursts Upon Society An Acknowledged Beauty.

Ambition Is Only Vanity Ennobled.

It Is Very Strange, This Domination Of Our Intellect By Our Digestive Organs. We Cannot Work, We Cannot Think, Unless Our Stomach Wills So. It Dictates To Us Our Emotions, Our Passions.... We Are But The Veriest, Sorriest Slaves Of Our Stomach. Reach Not After Morality And Righteousness, My Friends; Watch Vigilantly Your Stomach, And Diet It With Care And Judgment. Then Virtue And Contentment Will Come And Reign Within Your Heart, Unsought By Any Effort Of Your Own; And You Will Be A Good Citizen, A Loving Husband, And A Tender Father—a Noble, Pious Man.