What I Know Now About

...this Fear Was Unbearable. It Unwrapped Who She Was, As Neatly As He'd Unwound Her Bandage, Leaving Too Much Pain And Ugliness Exposed. Nerve Endings; He'd Said They Were The Problem [causing Phantom Pain In The Amputated Limb]." Things That Cut Off, That Ended Abruptly Or Died--like Parents And Marriages--kept Hurting Forever.

That Was The Thing About Best Friends. Like Sisters And Mothers, They Could Piss You Off And Make You Cry And Break Your Heart, But In The End, When The Chips Were Down, They Were There, Making You Laugh Even In Your Darkest Hours.

She Used To Tell Me That She Couldn't Feel The Sunlight Anymore, Not Even When She Was Standing In It, Not Even When It Was Hot On Her Cheeks

And Maybe That Was How It Was Supposed To Be...joy And Sadness Were Part Of The Package; The Trick, Perhaps,was To Let Yourself Feel All Of It, But To Hold On To The Joy Just A Little More Tightly.

Sometimes Holding On Was All You Could Do.