Weather Tonight: Dark. Turning Partly

The Christians Gave Him Sunday, The Jews Gave Him Saturday, And The Muslims Gave Him Friday. God Has A Three-day Weekend.

There May Or May Not Be Atheists In Foxholes, But I'm Certain There Are None In The Ku Klux Klan.

I'm Offering A Special Prize For The First Buick On The Moon.

Baseball Begins In The Spring, The Season Of New Life. Football Begins In The Fall, When Everything's Dying.

Give Now. Somewhere, Someone Feels Crappy. You Can Help.