We've Got To Laugh Or

. . . The Fellow's Got A Bee In His Bonnet. Thinks God's A Secretion Of The Liver--all Right Once In A Way, But There's No Need To Keep On About It. There's Nothing You Can't Prove If Your Outlook Is Only Sufficiently Limited.

I'm Getting Very Old And My Bones Ache. My Sins Are Deserting Me, And If I Could Only Have My Time Over Again I'd Take Care To Commit More Of Them.

If You Want Your Own Way, God Will Let You Have It. Hell Is The Enjoyment Of One's Own Way Forever.

A Marriage Of Two Independent And Equally Irritable Intelligences Seems To Me Reckless To The Point Of Insanity.

There Is Something About Wills Which Brings Out The Worst Side Of Human Nature. People Who Under Ordinary Circumstances Are Perfectly Upright And Amiable, Go As Curly As Corkscrews And Foam At The Mouth, Whenever They Hear The Words 'i Devise And Bequeath.