We're All In Trouble, And

It's My Life Dream To Be Able To Go And Continue Going To Schools And Teaching Them About Stretching And Aerobics, Cardio And Strength Training, Because I Want Them To Have A Better Life Than I Did. I Don't Want Them To Grow Up To Be Me. I Want Them To Be Healthy. I Want Them Not To Go Through Eating Disorders [like Me].

I'm 64, But I Act Like I'm Still 12. I Go To Schools. At Colleges, They Come Out In Droves, They Almost Scare Me. I Think It's Just To See If I'm Still Alive. After I Work Them Out - And It's Not Easy - I Sit Them Down And We Have A Serious Talk. Are They Eating? Working On Their Body? I Can Say Things Parents Won't Say. No Matter Where I Go, I Talk To Each One Individually After I Teach. They Tell Me Things Like, 'i'm Starving, Guys Like Girls Thinner.' I Give Them Concrete Advice About Self-image And Self-worth.

I Might As Well Be Gay. And Not Just Because I Love Rhinestones And Barbara Streisand. But Because Im A Sensitive Person Who Is Supportive Of Gay People The Same Way Im Sensitive To Grossly Obese People And Ugly People.

There's A List Of Foods I Can't Have In The House. Peanut Butter, Can't Have That In The House. Potato Chips, Can't Have That In The House. Random Little Small Mini Candy Bars, Don't Even Think About It. I Just Have To Watch Everything. I Have To Stay Between 1500 And 1600 Calories A Day. That's It.

I Don't Know About You, But Every Time Some Joker Points Me Out As I Walk Through An Airport Wearing Extra-small Dolfin Shorts, A Tank Top And Leg Warmers, I Get A Little Upset.