We Must Have Been Hunters

If You're Choking In A Restaurant You Can Just Say The Magic Words, 'heimlich Maneuver,' And All Will Be Well. Trouble Is, It's Difficult To Say 'heimlich Maneuver' When You're Choking To Death.

You Have No Control Over Your Cat! You Can't Say To Your Cat, "cat, Heel! Stay! Wait! Lie Down! Roll Over!" 'cause The Cat's Just Gonna Be Sitting There Going, "interesting Words ... Have You Finished?" While You're Shouting All This To Your Cat, Your Dog's Next To You, Going ... [mimes Obeying All Commands] "what The Hell Are You Doing? I'm Talking To The Cat!" "oh, I'm Sorry!"

I Don't Believe In God. I Believe Gods And Devils Are Within Us. It's Our Own Battle. Our Life's Battle Is To Appeal To The Gods Within Us, And To Fight The Devils Within Us.

In Stand-up It Really Helps To Play Yourself And Talk About Your Own Feelings. You Cannot Fail To Be Original If You're Just Talking About What You Think About X, Y And Z. Unless You've Got A Twin Brother Who's Also A Stand-up.

"i've Done Your Dog. It's Got Nine Eyes Down The Side, I Made His Head All Square, 15 Legs. What Do You Think Of That?" "fido Looks A Bit Weird."