... We Had Once Called

When I Write, I Wear Earplugs. I Don't Want To Be Self-conscious. I Don't Want To Be Thinking About The Fact That I'm Thinking About It. I Just Want To Be In It. It's One Element Of Hypnosis.

In The Weeks That Followed, We Amazed Ourselves. Our Habits Slid Apart Easily...and Our Very Few Intimacies Were Simply Discontinued. Where Did They Go, Those Things We Did? Were They Recycled? Did Some New Couple In China Do Them? Were A Swedish Man And Woman Foot To Foot At This Very Moment?

Most Of Life Is Offline, And I Think It Always Will Be; Eating And Aching And Sleeping And Loving Happen In The Body. But It's Not Impossible To Imagine Losing My Appetite For Those Things; They Aren't Always Easy, And They Take So Much Time. In Twenty Years I'd Be Interviewing Air And Water And Heat Just To Remember They Mattered.

I Looked At Other Couples And Wondered How They Could Be So Calm About It. They Held Hands As If They Weren't Even Holding Hands. When Steve And I Held Hands, I Had To Keep Looking Down To Marvel At It. There Was My Hand, The Same Hand I've Always Had - Oh, But Look! What Is It Holding? It's Holding Steve's Hand! Who Is Steve? My Three-dimensional Boyfriend. Each Day I Wondered What Would Happen Next. What Happens When You Stop Wanting, When You Are Happy. I Supposed I Would Go On Being Happy Forever. I Knew I Would Not Mess Things Up By Growing Bored. I Had Done That Once Before.

When You Can See The Beauty Of A Tree, Then You Will Know What Love Is.