We Celebrities Are Desperate Pigs.

God Works In Mysterious, Inefficient, And Breathtakingly Cruel Ways

How I Was Brought Up And My Imaginary Friend Means More To Me Than Anything You Can Ever Say Or Do.

It's Not Arrogant To Say That You Can't Figure Out The Answers To The Universe With Your Internal Faith. It's Not Arrogant To Know That There's No Omniscient, Omnipotent Prime Mover In The Universe Who Loves You Personally. It's Not Sad To Feel That Life And The Love Of Your Real Friends And Family Is More Than Enough To Make Life Worth Living. Isn't It Much Sadder To Feel That There Is A More Important Love Required Than The Love Of The People Who Have Chosen To Spend Their Limited Time With You?

A Joke Is A Way To Say, 'i'm Going To Do Something Funny Now. If I Don't Get A Laugh At The End, I'm A Failure.'

If You Can Just Convince The Dope People That The Gun People Are Right And The Gun People That The Dope People Are Right, We Could Actually Live In A Lot More Freedom.