We Can All Be Prouder

It's Best To Give Advice In Only Two Circumstances; When It's Requested, And When It's A Life Threatening Situation.

Would A Real Man Get Caught Eating A Twinkie?

We All Ought To Understand We're On Our Own. Believing In Santa Claus Doesn't Do Kids Any Harm For A Few Years But It Isn't Smart For Them To Continue Waiting All Their Lives For Him To Come Down The Chimney With Something Wonderful. Santa Claus And God Are Cousins.

I Spent My First 50 Years Trying To Become Known As A Writer And The Next 30 Trying To Avoid Being Famous. I Walk Down The Street Or Go To A Football Game And People Shout, 'hey Andy'. I Hate That.

There Are Sixteen Cans Of Coffee Here; Together They Hold A Total Of Thirteen And A Half Pounds Of Coffee. Doesn't That Seem Like Cheating?