Watching Soccer Just Makes Me

I Guess I Prefer The Laughs. I Couldn't Do A Whole Set Of Just Shocks, But I Like Throwing A Fastball Inside Every Now And Then To Keep People On Their Toes.

With Comics, You Always Talk About A Big Break, But There Are A Lot Of Big Breaks In Your Life And Not One Of Them Makes A Big Difference.

Disgusting. I Just Found My Grandpa's Viagra. I Swear, I Almost Puked From Eating So Many.

One Of My Favorite Things On The Show Was Just Getting To Do My Own Monologue And Talking About Someone Who Killed Themselves, Or Making A Joke About Some Horrible Tragedy - I Love Being Able To Fight For And Get On Tv. I Just Think It's So Different.

Silence Means They [the Audience] Are Paying Attention. Even If I Drop Bombs And They're Dead Quiet, It's Still Okay. If They Start Talking, That's When You've Lost Them.