Two Peanuts Walk Into A

So A Man Jumps Into A Taxi And Says "king Arthur's Close" And The Taxi Driver Says, "don't Worry We'll Lose Him At The Next Lights".

I Always Sit In The Tail End Of A Plane, Always. You Never Hear Of An Plane Backing Into A Mountain.

A Policeman Stopped Me And Said: Would You Please Blow Into This Bag, Sir? I Said: What For, Officer? He Said: My Chips Are Too Hot.

A Guy Walks Into A Pub With A Lump Of Asphalt On His Shoulder, He Says To The Bar Man Give Us A Pint And One For The Road.

He Said 'i'm Going To Chop Off The Bottom Of One Of Your Trouser Legs And Put It In A Library. I Thought, "that's A Turn-up For The Books".