Two Of The Saddest Words

No, As It Turns Out, I Really Like Being Congratulated On My Weight Loss. I Like It So Much, It's Tragic.

There Are Two Things That I Know For Certain Guys Are Good For: Pushing Swings And Killing Insects.

I've Never Met A Deadline I Couldn't Miss. I Make Sure My Editors Know This.

My Inner World Seems Largely To Consist Of Three Rotating Emotions: Embarrassment, Rage, And Tension. Sometimes I Feel Excited, But I Think That's Just Positive Tension.

I Think That The Truth Is A Really Stern Taskmistress.