Today Coming To Work, I

They Figured Out A Way To Control That Hamburger Disease. You Dip The Hamburger Into The Scalding Hot Coffee Before Eating.

The Ayatollah In Iran Says He Believes That He Got The Letter, But He Thinks He Accidentally Threw It Out With His Crate & Barrel Catalog.

President Obama Went To India, South Korea, Then Japan. He's Going To Keep Travelling Until He Finds His Birth Certificate.

Here's What The Kids Get. They Get Free Mcdonald's And Kentucky Fried Chicken For A Year, And 52 Six-packs Of Pepsi. And I'm Thinking, Well, Actually, It Might Be Healthier If They Were Taking Steroids.

Everybody Is Wondering What Paris Hilton Will Be Doing Next, And Hell, I'm Wondering What She Did Before.