To Say I’m An Overrated

There Are A Couple Of Things I Want To Impart To Ladies Who Want To Be In Comedy: One, You Don’t Have To Be Weird Or Be Quirky To Get Your Job Done. And Two, Comedy Skill Is Not Sexually Transmittable. You Do Not Have To Sleep With A Comedian To Learn What You’re Doing. Male Comedians Will Not Like That Advice, But It Is The Truth.

I Have A Suspicion That The Definition Of "crazy" In Show Business Is A Woman Who Keeps Talking Even After No One Wants To F*** [sleep With Her] Anymore.

I Feel Like I Represent Normalcy In Some Way.

I Want To Go To There.

The Comedy For The Democrats Is That They're Showing Off Too Much. They Need To Be Putting A Boring White Guy Out There To Kind Of Get A Hold Of Things. Once The Boring White Guy Is Out There, Then You Bust Out The Junior Senator From Illinois Who Smokes And Does Cocaine.