To My Knowledge, I Was

I Never Could Tell A Joke. I Just Started Talking To The Audience, And When The Drunks Would Yell, "hey, When Do The Broads Come On?" I Got Good At Saying, "relax. Clear Your Skin Up First." They Called Me "the Insult Guy," But It's Never Mean-spirited. I'm Just Exaggerating Everything About Us And About Life.

When You Do See Me, You'll Get The Idea From When You See Me That It's All Off The Top Of My Head. A Lot Of It Is A Beginning, Middle And The End. But It's Different Every Night. I Have A Lot Of Jokes In My Back Pocket I've Said Over The Years.

I've Never Had A Writer, And I'm Proud Of That. Everything I've Per­formed Has Been From My Own Head.

You Know What's Funny To Me? Attitude.

Well, I Call Myself An Actor. I Always Wanted To Be One.