To Escape Jury Duty In

When... I Told My Father I Wanted To Be A Writer, He Had Asked Me To Consider My Unfortunate Wife, Who Would Have Me About The House All Day 'wearing A Dressing Gown, Brewing Tea And Stumped For Words'.

Dying Is A Matter Of Slapstick And Pratfalls. The Ageing Process Is Not Gradual Or Gentle. It Rushes Up, Pushes You Over And Runs Off Laughing. No One Should Grow Old Who Isn't Ready To Appear Ridiculous.

We Don't Know Much About The Human Conscience, Except That It Is Soluble In Alcohol.

I Suppose True Sexual Equality Will Come When A General Called Anthea Is Found Having An Unwise Lunch With A Young, Unreliable Model From Spain.

No Brilliance Is Needed In The Law. Nothing But Common Sense, And Relatively Clean Finger Nails.