Tigers Love Pepper...they Hate Cinnamon.

I've Been Happily Dedicated To The Same Woman For A Number Of Years. I Never Even Look At Other Women.

I Used To Be Really Cute. I Could Send You Earlier Photos Where I'm Stunning. But I've Gained About Twenty Pounds Over The Past Two Years, And The More Weight I've Put On, The More Success I've Had. If You Drew A Diagram Of Weight Gain And Me Getting More Work, A Mathematician Would Draw Some Conclusions From That.

You Save 15 More Minutes Of Sleep If You Are A Man And You Don't Have To Shave.

I Have To Stop Crying When I Watch "the View". It's Not Because Of The Topics At Hand, I Just Feel Sorry For That Couch.

My Girlfriend And I Went To A Dinner Party The Other Night And We Ended Up Playing Charades. There Was Another Couple There That Was Deaf. They Were So Good.