This Is What I've Been

The People We Elect Aren't Bipartisan. The American Public Is Bipartisan.

If You Stop Eating Donutes You Will Live 3 Years Longer.it's Just 3 More Years That You Want A Donut. < . ) < .

When You Compare Christmas To Hanukkah, There's No Comparison. Christmas Is Great. Hanukkah Sucks! First Night You Get Socks. Second Night, An Eraser, A Notebook. It's A Back-to-school Holiday!

If It Weren’t For My Horse, I Wouldn’t Have Spent That Year In College.

The Whole Valentine's Thing Is Fine, But You Don't Back It Up Right Next To The Biggest Gift-giving Holiday Of The Year. Unbelievable. And We Find It Acceptable.