Think Of The Funniest Story

Confessions Are Like Tattoos In That 1) You Convince Yourself That The Immediate Pain Of Going Through The Process Means It Won't Bother You Later On; 2) They Are Permanent.

We Should Remind Ourselves That Laughing Together Is As Close As You Can Get To Another Person Without Touching, And Sometimes It Represents A Closer Tie Than Touching Ever Could.

Fear Looks Both Ways But Still Refuses To Cross; Fear Looks Twice And Still Doesn't Leap. ... Fear Usually Arrives Late, Inevitably Leaves Early, And Ends Up Never Going Out Of Town At All. Fear Is The Phantom Hand On The Back Of The Neck And The Sound Of A Door Opening Downstairs When No One Is Coming Home. ... Fear Grows Poor Because It Watches Others Gain Wealth But Cannot Enter The Fray; Fear Grows Sick Because It Eats Away At Heath Even As It Fears Its Diminishment; Fear Grows Old Watching Others Live In Ways That Seem To Threaten-but In Reality Only Enhance-life.

Envy Is What Makes You, When An Acquaintance Is Lustily Telling You That She's Dating A Greek God Of A Guy, Ask, 'which One, Hades?'

...there Is A Celebrated Aphorism Insisting That The Best Way To Live Is To 'work Like You Don't Need The Money, Dance Like Nobody Is Watching, And Love Like You've Never Been Hurt.'...after Years Of Hearing And Reading These Lines I Have Decided To Tell The Truth: The Original Version Is Wrong. There Is A Grave Error In The Wording Of This Adage. The Correct Version Should Go As Follows: Love Like You Don't Need The Money, Work Like Nobody Is Watching, Dance Like You've Never Been Hurt. See? Doesn't That Make More Sense?