There's Only 2 Reasons That

I Really Never Had Any Ambitions To Be A Standup Comic. I Was Talked Into It By Guys That I Used To Work Out With.

When A Ball Goes Into A Net It Only Means Something Because We Decided It Means Something. When Somebody Punches Somebody In The Face It Always Means Something.

There's A Classic Story I Tell About When I Did The Man Show About The Retarded Conversations That You Have With The Executive Producers And The Network.

I've Been Inspired By A Shitload Of People In My Life So If There's Ever Anybody That I Can Inspire, To Me That's A Huge Gift. To Be Able To Turn That Back Around.

I Think That One Of The Reasons Why People Look Towards The End Of Humanity Is That People Are Afraid To Die Alone. If You Die Alone, The People You Love Will Miss You, Or If They Die, You Miss Them - The Sorrow Is Inevitable. When You Truly Love Someone, The Thought Of Losing Them Forever Is Horrible.