There's No Need To Talk

I Know That Disavowal Is An Unusal Form Of Betrayal. From The Outside It Is Impossible To Tell If You Are Disowning Someone Or Simply Exercising Discretion, Being Considerate, Avoiding Embarrassments And Sources Of Irritation. But You, Who Are Doing The Disowning, You Know What You're Doing. And Disavowal Pulls The Underpinnings Away From A Relationship Just As Surely As Other More Flamboyant Types Of Betrayal.

Sometimes I Had The Feeling That All Of Us In His Family Were Like Pets To Him. The Dog You Take For A Walk, The Cat You Play With And That Curls Up In Your Lap, Purring, To Be Stroked - You Can Be Fond Of Them, You Can Even Need Them To A Certain Extent, And Nonetheless The Whole Thing - Buying Pet Food, Cleaning Up The Cat Box, And Trips To The Vet - Is Really Too Much. Your Life Is Elsewhere.

...i Had To Point At Hanna. But The Finger I Pointed At Her Turned Back To Me. I Had Loved Her. I Tried To Tell Myself That I Had Known Nothing Of What She Had Done When I Chose Her. I Tried To Talk Myself Into The State Of Innocence In Which Children Love Their Parents. But Love Of Our Parents Is The Only Love For Which We Are Not Responsible. ...and Perhaps We Are Responsible Even For The Love We Feel For Our Parents.

I Took All The Blame. I Admitted Mistakes I Hadn't Made, Intentions I'd Never Had. Whenever She Turned Cold And Hard, I Begged Her To Be Good To Me Again, To Forgive Me And Love Me. Sometimes I Had The Feeling That She Hurt Herself When She Turned Cold And Rigid. As If What She Was Yearning For Was The Warmth Of My Apologies, Protestations, And Entreaties. Sometimes I Thought She Just Bullied Me. But Either Way, I Had No Choice.

As A Citizen And Someone Who Was A Judge On The Constitutional Law Court For 18 Years, I Feel Whenever I Can Raise My Voice With The Hope Of Being Heard I Need To Do It, But I Wouldn't Assign A Special Wisdom And Responsibility To Writers.