Theres No Drama Like Wrestling.

I Never Told A Joke In My Life.

What's Real? What's Not? That's What I Do In My Act, Test How Other People Deal With Reality.

If I Play My Cards Right, I Could Bring Network Wrestling Back To Tv. Unfortunately, To Most People, Wrestling Is A Laughingstock. But Fortunately, I'm Reaching People Who Otherwise Wouldn't Watch It.

My Mother Sent Me To Psychiatrists Since The Age Of Four Because She Didnt Think Little Boys Should Be Sad. When My Brother Was Born, I Stared Out The Window For Days. Can You Imagine That?

The Critics Try To Intellectualize My Material. There's No Satire Involved. Satire Is A Concept That Can Only Be Understood By Adults. My Stuff Is Straight, For People Of All Ages.