There's One Fool At Least

It Hath Been Often Said, That It Is Not Death, But Dying, Which Is Terrible.

Affectation Proceeds From One Of These Two Causes,--vanity Or Hypocrisy; For As Vanity Puts Us On Affecting False Characters, In Order To Purchase Applause; So Hypocrisy Sets Us On An Endeavor To Avoid Censure, By Concealing Our Vices Under An Appearance Of Their Opposite Virtues.

Domestic Happiness Is The End Of Almost All Our Pursuits, And The Common Reward Of All Our Pains. When Men Find Themselves Forever Barred From This Delightful Fruition, They Are Lost To All Industry, And Grow Careless Of All Their Worldly Affairs. Thus They Become Bad Subjects, Bad Relations, Bad Friends, And Bad Men.

Love May Be Likened To A Disease In This Respect, That When It Is Denied A Vent In One Part, It Will Certainly Break Out In Another; Hence What A Woman's Lips Often Conceal, Her Eyes, Her Blushes, And Many Little Involuntary Actions Betray.

And Here, I Believe, The Wit Is Generally Misunderstood. In Reality, It Lies In Desiring Another To Kiss Your A-- For Having Just Before Threatened To Kick His; For I Have Observed Very Accurately, That No One Ever Desires You To Kick That Which Belongs To Himself, Nor Offers To Kiss This Part In Another.