There's No Bad Publicity Except

He Was Born An Englishman And Remained One For Years.

When I'm Talking To People I Like To Stop And Quote Myself. My Quotes Have A Way Of Spicing Up Conversation.

Ninety-seven Saint Days A Year Wouldn't Affect The Theater, But Two Yom Kippurs Would Ruin It.

I Only Take A Drink On Two Occasions - When I'm Thirsty And When I'm Not.

It's Not That The Irish Are Cynical. It's Rather That They Have A Wonderful Lack Of Respect For Everything And Everybody.