There Must Be A God,

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk. By This Time Tomorrow, It'll Be Free Yogurt.

I Don't Trust Books. They're All Fact, No Heart. And That's Exactly What's Pulling Our Country Apart Today. Because Face It, Folks, We Are A Divided Nation. Not Between Democrats Or Republicans, Or Conservatives And Liberals, Or Tops And Bottoms. No, We Are Divided By Those Who Think With Their Head, And Those Who Know With Their Heart.

I Know There Are Some Polls Out There Saying This Man Has A 32% Approval Rating. But Guys Like Us, We Don't Pay Attention To The Polls. We Know That Polls Are Just A Collection Of Statistics That Reflect What People Are Thinking In Reality. And Reality Has A Well-known Liberal Bias.

Can Accidentally Eating Halal Food Make You Muslim? Yes, The Same Way Drinking A Cosmo Can Make You Gay.

Sure, Integrating Schools May Sound Benign. But Whats The Use Of Living In A Gated Community If My Kids Go To School And Get Poor All Over Them?