There Is This To Be

Being Divorced Is Like Being Hit By A Mack Truck. If You Live Through It, You Start Looking Very Carefully To The Right And To The Left.

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

In The Beginning, We Made The Usual Mistake Of Looking At Houses We Could Afford. I Am Working On A Proposition, Hereafter To Be Known As Kerr's Law, Which States In Essence: All The Houses You Can Afford To Buy Are Depressing.

It Has Been Explained To Me That Toys Are Packaged In Shards, To Be Assembled By The Middle-aged And Butter-fingered, Because This Makes It Easier For The Shippers. ... If They Had To Spend Hours And Hours Putting Handlebars Onto Bicycles ... They Would Repent Their Ways And Deliver Something That Looked Like A Rocking Horse And Not Like The Result Of A Small Street Accident.

Marrying A Man Is Like Buying Something You've Been Admiring For A Long Time In A Shop Window. You May Love It When You Get It Home, But It Doesn't Always Go With Everything Else In The House.