There Is This To Be

Man Is The Only Animal That Learns By Being Hypocritical. He Pretends To Be Polite And Then, Eventually, He Becomes Polite.

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.

Being On A Ship Is Something Like Being Pregnant. You Can Sit There And Do Absolutely Nothing But Stare At The Water And Have The Nicest Sense That You Are Accomplishing Something.

Being Divorced Is Like Being Hit By A Mack Truck. If You Live Through It, You Start Looking Very Carefully To The Right And To The Left.

A Lawyer Is Never Entirely Comfortable With A Friendly Divorce, Anymore Than A Good Mortician Wants To Finish His Job And Then Have The Patient Sit Up On The Table.