There Are Two Types Of

That's The Nice Thing About Doing Stand-up. There's No Development, You Just Go Out There And Get An Immediate Response As To Whether Something Is Good Or Bad. Getting A Laugh Is The Best Measure Of How Well You're Doing.

A Friend Told Me To Listen To My Heart. Another Friend Told Me To Listen To My Gut. Maybe I Need An Autopsy, Because Right Now My Colon Is Kind Of Iffy.

They Don't See That Whole Pattern. Worm/death. Worm/death. I Would Catch On.

It Was Trying To Make My Tennis Game Look Mildly Respectable, Which I Found You Don't Even Really Need To Practice If You Have A Really Good Editor. They Can Edit It And You're Like, "hey, It Looks Like I'm Playing Really Well." That Was The Fun Part, But It Was Like Going To Summer Camp.

From The Minute We're Born, Boys And Girls Stare At Each Other, Trying To Figure Out If They Like What They See. Like Parade Lines, Passing Each Other For Mutual Inspection. You March, You Look. You March, You Look. If You're Interested, You Stop And Talk, And If It Doesn't Work Out, You Just Get Back In The Parade. You Keep Marching, And You Keep Looking.