There Are Really Funny Alternative

I'm Not Going To Benefit From Free College Education, But I Think All Those Things Are Good For The Country.

I'm Very Vocal About My Belief That All Religion Is Garbage. Most Of My Friends Are Religious Or At Least Spiritual. These Are People I Like And I Know Are Intelligent. It's This Thing That I Carry Around. I Know I'd Be A Better Person If I Was Fairer, But It's At The Core Of Who I Am And What I Believe.

You Cannot Win A War On Terrorism. It's Like Having A War On Jealousy.

I Was Heavily Influenced By Andy Kaufman And Steven Wright.

I Do Not Want To Encourage Heckling And Outbreaks At All.