Then I Will Tape The

I'll Think Of The Idea And Then I'll Write Something Down, Then Within That There Will Be A Joke Or Two Which Is The Original Thing Which I Thought Was Funny.

I Am Against The War, But I Do Support Our White Troops. No, I'm Kidding, I'm Kidding. I'm Not A Republican. I'm Not A Member Of The Party Of Inclusion. Wonderful, Tolerant, Rational Human Beings They Are.

I Was In Antwerp - Which, I Had About 20 Shows Left At That Point - And A Guy Said, "that's Dave Attell's." Also, Antwerp Was My Smallest Audience, So The Guy Was Right There. I Was Like, "what?" He Said, "dave Attell Does A Bit About, 'why Are There Luggage Stores In The Airport?'" I Had Never Seen That, And I Would Never Ever, Ever, Ever - Please Believe Me - I Would Never Lift Material From Somebody Ever, And Certainly Not Knowingly.

I've Gotten "condescending" A Million Times, And That's Not Good.

If You Wanna Find Out 101 Things To Do With Plums, Heh, Read Your In-flight Magazine.