The Stork Is Voiceless Because

Aristotle Taught That The Brain Exists Merely To Cool The Blood And Is Not Involved In The Process Of Thinking. This Is True Only Of Certain Persons.

Even As A Child Back In Indiana, Whenever I Took A Butterbelly Off The Hook I Used To Ask Myself, "does This Fish Think?" I Would Even Ask Others, "do You Suppose This Butterbelly Can Think?" And All I Would Get In Reply Was A Look. At The Age Of Eighteen, I Left The State.

The Earthworm Plows The Whole World With His Tunnels, Drains And Aerates The Earth… If You Ever Buy Any Land, Be Sure It Has Plenty Of Earthworms Toiling And Moiling All Day So That You Can Sit Down And Relax.

The Head Of A Pike, Served At Supper, Is Said To Have Caused The Death From Terror Of Theodoric The Goth, Who Imagined The Fish's Features To Be Those Of Symmachus, A Man He Had Just Killed. But For This Story, We Of Today Would Have No Idea What Symmachus Looked Like.

[footnote:] Pliny The Elder Described A Whale Called "balaena Or Whirlpool, Which Is So Long And Broad As To Take Up More In Length And Breadth Than Two Acres Of Ground." This Brings Up Again The Old Question: Are The Classics Doomed? Our Ancestors Believed That Four Years Of This Sort Of Information Would Inevitably Produce A President, Or At Least A Cabinet Member. It Didn't Seem To Work Out That Way.