The Shape I'm In, I

When I Told My Wife She Was Lousy In Bed - She Went Out - She Got A Second Opinion.

I Knew A Girl So Ugly That She Was Known As A Two-bagger. That's When You Put A Bag Over Your Head In Case The Bag Over Her Head Breaks.

My Wife's So Dumb, She Got A Nail In The Spare!!

I Met The Surgeon General - He Offered Me A Cigarette.

I've Been Writing Jokes Since I'm Fifteen. Not Out Of Happiness, But To Go To A Different Place, Because Reality Wasn't Good To Me.