The Secret Service Has Announced

According To Geologists, About 100 Million Years From Now, Asia And The Americas Will Smash Together To Form One Giant Supercontinent. The Good News: Maybe All Those Jobs That Went Over There Will Finally Come Back.

This Is My Favorite Story Of The Week. The Republican National Committee Is In Trouble After Spending Nearly $2,000 At A Bondage Club In Hollywood. You Know What I Call A Republican Who Spends A Lot Of Money In A Strip Club? A Democrat.

According To A New Report, More Than 700 Fake Obamacare Websites Have Been Created. Security Experts Say It's Simple To Identify The Phony Sites Because They Are Easy To Log On To.

It Is Said That Life Begins When The Fetus Can Exist Apart From Its Mother. By This Definition, Many People In Hollywood Are Legally Dead.

According To The Latest L.a. Times Poll, 75% Of Californians Believe The Country Is Headed In The Wrong Direction. And 60% Of Californians Are So Disillusioned, They're Thinking About Moving Back To Mexico.