The Reason I Love My

How Come Regional Pandering Only Works In One Direction, Right? You Never See A Southern Politician Trying To Win Votes In New York State By Saying, 'i Read Books And Make A Mean Vegan Meatloaf.'

Stop Saying Athletes Do It For The Love Of The Game. They Do It For The Love Of Their 32-room Mansion With The Live Shark Tank In The Living Room. If Pro Sports Paid Minimum Wage, Shaquille O'neal Would Be A Bouncer At Scores, And Anna Kournikova Would Be A Mail-order Bride From Minsk.

Of Course, There Are Questions That Plague All Of Us. How Did We Get Here? What Happens When We Die? Is There A Heaven? Am I On The List? Who Let The Dogs Out?

Jesus Is Not A Candle. A Company In South Dakota Is Selling Candles With The Scent Of Jesus. You Light One And Your Friends Says, Christ, What's That Smell?

My Policy Is I Am Always More Than Happy To Say, "i'm Sorry If I Hurt Your Feelings." What I Am Not Willing To Do Is Take Back What I Said. Unless I Am Wrong.